The Enigma of Midwest Sasquatch: A Gunsmith's Guide to Illinois' Hairiest Mystery

From the Bench: Where precision meets the improbable

By Hootey Cline, Blue Coat Arms Company

July 1, 2025

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hootey, you're a gunsmith. Shouldn't you be writing about barrel threading or trigger jobs?" Well, here's the thing – after nine years of working on firearms in Central Illinois, I've heard every hunting story imaginable. But lately, there's been a recurring theme that's got me scratching my head harder than a tick-infested hound dog: Bigfoot sightings.

And before you close this browser tab thinking I've lost my mind, hear me out. As someone who spends his days dealing with precision, evidence, and the occasional tall tale, I find myself oddly fascinated by Illinois' growing reputation as Sasquatch central.

The Numbers Don't Lie (Unlike Some Fish Stories)

According to the latest data from the Bigfoot Field Research Organization (BFRO), Illinois has climbed to the number five spot nationally for credible Bigfoot sightings, with 304 documented reports. That's right – we've beaten out places like Oregon and Montana. Who knew the Prairie State was such prime real estate for cryptids?

The most recent activity?

A Class A sighting in Peoria County in October 2024, where a truck driver reported a close encounter at 6 AM. Now, I've been up at 6 AM plenty of times (usually because a customer's "emergency" repair couldn't wait), and I can tell you that's either the most dedicated hoaxer in history or something genuinely unexplained.

What Exactly Are We Dealing With?

For those unfamiliar with the subject (and I'm guessing that's most of my usual readers), Bigfoot – also known as Sasquatch – is described as a large, bipedal, ape-like creature. Witnesses typically report:

• Height: 7-9 feet tall

• Build: Muscular, broad-shouldered

• Covering: Dense hair or fur

• Behavior: Generally elusive, occasionally curious

• Smell: Often described as... well, let's just say "distinctive"

From a gunsmith's perspective, I can't help but think about the ballistics involved if someone actually wanted to document one of these creatures. Not that I'm advocating for anything harmful – I'm talking about tranquilizer darts or high-quality trail cameras. Though I suspect most Bigfoot researchers have about as much luck with their equipment as I do with customers who "just need a quick five-minute job."

Illinois: The Unexpected Sasquatch Hot Spot

Why Illinois? It's not like we have the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest or the remote wilderness of Alaska. But according to BFRO founder Matt Moneymaker, our state offers some unique advantages for a large, omnivorous creature:

The Habitat Factor

• Diverse terrain: From the Shawnee National Forest to prairie lands

• Agricultural abundance: Corn and soybeans support healthy deer populations

• Water sources: Rivers, lakes, and streams throughout the state

• Cover: Surprisingly dense woodlands and remote areas

The Food Chain Logic

If you're a 9-foot-tall creature with a serious appetite, Illinois makes sense. We've got deer, wild turkey, fish, and enough agricultural surplus to feed a small army. Plus, with our hunting seasons, there's always the possibility of... let's call it "field dressing leftovers."

Recent Activity: The Plot Thickens

The 2024-2025 period has been particularly active. Besides the Peoria County sighting, reports have been coming in from across the state. October appears to be peak Sasquatch season – which, coincidentally, is also peak hunting season. Makes you wonder if they're just trying to avoid the orange army tramping through their territory.

As someone who's spent countless hours in Illinois woods (usually tracking down that "perfect" hunting spot a customer swears exists), I can tell you there are plenty of places where something large could remain hidden. Heck, I've gotten lost in areas that looked like they couldn't hide a squirrel.

The Gunsmith's Perspective: Evidence and Skepticism

Now, I'm not saying I believe or disbelieve in Bigfoot. What I am saying is that I understand evidence, documentation, and the importance of reliable witnesses. In my line of work, when someone brings me a firearm and says "it just stopped working," I need to separate fact from fiction, mechanical failure from user error.

The Evidence Problem

The challenge with Bigfoot evidence is similar to what I face with intermittent firearm malfunctions:

• Inconsistent documentation: Blurry photos, unclear audio

• Witness reliability: Stress, lighting conditions, expectations

• Physical evidence: Often inconclusive or contaminated

• Reproducibility: Can't exactly schedule a repeat performance

The Plausibility Factor

From a practical standpoint, could a large primate species exist undetected in North America? Consider:

• Habitat: Millions of acres of wilderness

• Intelligence: If they're smart enough to avoid detection, they're doing better than most of my customers at following basic safety rules

• Population: Wouldn't need to be large to maintain genetic diversity

• Behavior: Nocturnal, elusive creatures aren't exactly rare

The Equipment Question

This brings me to something I actually know about: what would you need to properly document a Sasquatch encounter? As someone who's helped outfit plenty of hunters and researchers, here's my professional recommendation:

For Documentation

• High-quality trail cameras: Multiple units, infrared capable

• Audio recording equipment: For those alleged vocalizations

• Thermal imaging: Because apparently they're mostly active at night

• GPS units: To mark exact locations

For Safety (Because 9-foot-tall unknowns deserve respect)

• Reliable communication: Satellite communicators for remote areas

• Emergency supplies: First aid, shelter, food

• Appropriate clothing: Scent control, weather protection

• Backup power: Portable batteries for all that equipment

What About Firearms?

Now, I'm not advocating for anyone to shoot Bigfoot. Aside from the ethical issues, there are legal considerations. Most states have laws about discharging firearms in certain areas, and I'm pretty sure "I thought it was Bigfoot" isn't going to hold up in court.

If you're genuinely concerned about safety in remote areas, standard wildlife precautions apply: bear spray, noise makers, and common sense. Though I suspect if Bigfoot wanted to harm people, we'd have more than just sightings to worry about.

The Cultural Impact

What fascinates me most is how Bigfoot has become part of our local culture. I've had customers mention sightings while dropping off their hunting rifles, and I've noticed an uptick in requests for equipment suitable for "wildlife research."

There's something uniquely American about the Bigfoot phenomenon – the idea that there are still mysteries out there, still frontiers to explore. In a world where everything seems mapped, catalogued, and documented, the possibility of an unknown creature captures our imagination.

The Practical Implications

For those of us in the outdoor industry, the Bigfoot phenomenon has created some interesting opportunities:

• Tourism: Bigfoot-themed events and expeditions

• Equipment sales: Specialized gear for researchers

• Guide services: People want to visit "active" areas

• Education: Teaching proper documentation techniques

A Gunsmith's Conclusion

After nine years of listening to hunting stories, examining evidence, and working with people who spend serious time in the woods, I've learned to keep an open mind. I've seen enough "impossible" mechanical failures to know that sometimes the improbable is just the not-yet-explained.

Do I think there's a 9-foot-tall primate wandering around Illinois? I honestly don't know. But I do know that the people reporting these sightings aren't all crazy, attention-seeking, or mistaken. Some are experienced outdoorsmen, law enforcement officers, and other credible witnesses.

What I can say is this: if you're heading into the woods for any reason – hunting, research, or just enjoying nature – be prepared, be safe, and keep your eyes open. Whether you encounter Bigfoot, a black bear, or just get a great story to tell, proper preparation is key.

And if you do happen to get that perfect, clear, undeniable photo of Sasquatch? Well, make sure your camera's timestamp is working. Because in my experience, the best evidence is always properly documented.

Final Thoughts

The mystery of Midwest Sasquatch continues to intrigue, inspire, and occasionally frustrate researchers and skeptics alike. Whether real or imagined, the phenomenon has brought attention to Illinois' wild spaces and reminded us that there's still room for wonder in our modern world.

As for me? I'll stick to what I know best – making sure your firearms are reliable, accurate, and safe. But if you're heading out to do some "wildlife research" and need equipment recommendations, you know where to find me.

No matter your era, we got your six – whether you're tracking deer, documenting Sasquatch, or just trying to figure out why your rifle won't hold zero.

Questions about equipment for outdoor research, wildlife photography, or just regular old gunsmithing? Contact Blue Coat Arms Company at 217-416-5962 or BlueCoatArms@gmail.com. We may not have all the answers about Bigfoot, but we've got you covered for everything else.